SPECIAL INVESTIGATION: HOW DUCK DYNASTY FOOLED AMERICA!

Duck_stry

The ENQURER rips the lid off the DUCKS AMUCK clan! The secrets & lies THEY don’t want YOU to know!

1 Months after Phil Robertson apologized for anti-gay rants, he blasted “homosexual offenders”

2 in a sermon at his church, Phil has labeled himself a “man of God,” but admits he was “ripped for eight years” on whiskey, beer, marijuana, pep pills and speed during his 20s.

3 During this period, boozed-up Phil assaulted a couple in a bar. The folks were hospitalized and Phil fled the state.

4 Si and Phil’s mother was manic-depressive and suffered a mental breakdown when they were young.

5 Alan’s wife, Lisa, says she was sexually abused by a family member when she was between the ages of 7 and 14. She claims six other family members

6 “College is crap!” according to Si, who dropped out after too much partying.

7 Si says that on two separate occasions in Vietnam, he nearly killed innocent civilians to sate his own bloodlust. Already a boozer, he carried a fifth of liquor and sipped it just to “forget where he was.”

8 Missy Robertson’s third pregnancy ended in a devastating miscarriage.

9 Si claims his son, Scott, suffered brain damage and acted erratically as a child because of a liver problem. Scott – who tried to jump out of a second-story window at age 11 – was later diagnosed with Asperger’s.

10 The show’s editors use “fake bleeps” to make it appear as though family members are swearing. 11 A “Duck Dynasty” production team in Los Angeles “arranges scenes” for the supposed “reality” show. It’s called “editing”.

12 Phil played football with future NFL Hall of Fame quarterback Terry Bradshaw at Louisiana Tech, but quit the team to hunt full-time.

 13 Miss Kay and Phil separated for three months early in their marriage, reuniting after Phil says he “found God.”

What’s next? WHO KNOWS!